Some crazy bucket list ideas for the older man

Bucket list ideas for mature men growing old disgracefully

The Bucket List Movie Poster

We talked in the last post about the word meaning fear of diminishing opportunities as one ages or Torsehlusspanik.

For many men, the idea of a bucket list is something to consider when you retire, hopefully at 65 or sooner, however the need to continue working is a necessity for a lot of men. By the time many men lay down their tools, they are too old or in too poor health to do those things they always dreamed of.

Interest in bucket lists soared with the release of the 2007 movie The Bucket List in which Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freemen played two terminally ill men who went on a road trip with a list of things to do before they kicked the bucket. This is what was on their list-

  • Skydiving
  • Drive a Shelby Mustang
  • Fly over the North Pole
  • Eat at Chevre d’or in France
  • Visit the Taj Mahal in India
  • Ride a motorcycle on the Great Wall of China
  • A Lion safari in Tanzania
  • Visit the base of Mt Everest
  • Visit the Pyramids
    Carter played by Freeman also had on his list, laugh till I cry, which he ticked off after Nicholson told him about the coffee which is passed through the bowls of a Sumatran jungle cat.
    After that Nicholson got back with his estranged daughter and kissed his grand daughter enabling him to cross of kiss the most beautiful girl in the world
    Carter died and Edward read the eulogy and then crossed off, help a complete stranger for the good.
    Edwards last item on the list, witness something majestic happened after he died when he and Carte’rs ashes were taken to the top of a Himalayan mountain by Edwards assistant Matthew together with a can of coffee.
  • Having spent several hours pouring over the many bucket list sites out there, here is my list and comments on the most odd and bizarre;-
  • Go to an orgy – Where’s the invite?
  • Set foot on the moon – yeah – right
  • Retire a Millionaire Brilliant, show me the money
  • Start you own religion – Any messiahs out there
  • Fall in love – Oh, you sad bastard
  • Dye your grey hair black – You only look younger from a distance but you Will feel younger
  • Join the mile high club – I believe the airline Virgin in the best for that although you will have to be a bit of a contortionist. No woman, no worries, have a wank instead – you are half way there
  • Go on safari in Africa 
  • Travel the world On a motorbike
  • Spend the day as a woman. Bring out the inner tranny – act like you’ve got your period. This is one of the most common sexual fantasies in the UK

    woman streaking
    Combine spending the day as a woman with streaking but avoid the high heels, no good for running
  • Streak in a public place. Best done before your body starts to sag
  • Do a striptease – Careful of stage fright and don’t leave it until you are too wrinkly
  • Name a star – Why not
  • Get married – Experience the pain
  • Share a fantasy – But who with
  • Share your most embarrassing moment – It will come back to bite you
  • Wear a wig for a day – Empathise with how bald men feel when they cover up
  • Eat an insect – make it a big one
  • Hire 2 private investigators to follow each other
  • Take part in a brawl – Cant beat a good punch up as long as there’s no knives or guns
  • Have sex outdoors – Its a right of passage
  • Run with the bulls – Over 45, you will be killed
  • Kill and eat your dinner – Don’t be a chicken
  • Throw a dart at a map and go there – Get the passport ready
  • Stay up for 24 hours – Yay, rediscover drugs

TORSEHLUSSPANIK, Means “Gate Shut, Panic” or The fear of diminishing opportunities as one ages

I came across this German word for which there is no English equivalent. The literal translation is ” gate shut, panic”  referring to the times when city gates closed for the night. In English it is roughly translated as meaning “The fear of diminishing opportunities as one ages”.  If you are over 50, your chances of becoming a champion sportsman are gone. Same goes if you have put off starting a family and your partners eggs have dried up. For many people, the term “I’ll get round to it” never really eventuates leaving older men regretting putting important goals off for too long until its just too late. As you get older, have a good look at your bucket list and start ticking off those that you know you wont be able to do the longer you wait. If you are single and like the look of the picture above, your chances of meeting a girl with a bum like that are pretty slim.  If you haven’t written a bucket list, you might get a few ideas you hadn’t thought of in the next post. Happy reading and feel free to comment.

 

ManGOD Blog. Inspired by Billy Connolly

Billy Connolly in banana boots

The Inspiration for this web site / blog came from Billy Connolly, The Great Scottish comedian. The man that coined the phrase “Grow Old Disgracefully”. I was at the  Manchester Free Trade Hall, June 1977. Billy Connolly walked on stage wearing his signature Fyffes banana boots and brought the house down. Not many people had heard of him in England at the time. An article promoting the gig hailed him as the funniest comedian to come out of Scotland where he was known as the Big Yin and based on that, myself and a few friends bought tickets. Back then his Scottish accent was much stronger and we could only understand half of his jokes. The many Scottish fans in the audience got the other half and as laughing is so contagious we roared away through the whole set. Fast forward 35 years and I saw an interview on UK TV where he talked about growing old and summarised  In the newspaper “The Scotsman”, he is quoted as saying “You’re constantly told to grow up. Grow up, its time you grew up, you’ve got some growing up to do boy. What they really mean is, get boring, stop being angry, stop being interesting, stop being a nuisance. I would say, don’t grow up. By all means grow old, but don’t grow up. Don’t be beige. I think disgraceful is the way to do it. Be a nuisance, stay alive”

Grow old disgracefully became his motto and since the the term has been widely used. This blog pays tribute to the great man. ManGOD is short for Man Growing Old Disgracefully.

Over the coming months I will be covering many of the issues men face growing older. So keep coming back, help contribute or join us and Grow Old Disgracefully.